Twas the month after christmas….


— dalis


Twas the month after Christmas, 
and all through the house, 
Nothing would fit me, 
not even a blouse. 

The cookies I’d nibbled, 
the chocolate I’d taste 
At the holiday parties 
had gone to my waist. 

When I got on the scales 
there arose such a number! 
When I walked to the store 
(less a walk than a lumber), 

I’d remember the marvelous meals I’d prepared; 
The gravies and sauces and beef nicely rared, 
The wine and the rum balls, the bread and the cheese 
And the way I’d never said, “No thank you, please.” 

As I dressed myself in my husband’s old shirt 
And prepared once again to do battle with dirt… 
I said to myself, as I only can, 
“You can’t spend a winter, disguised as a man!” 

So, away with the last of the sour cream dip. 
Get rid of the fruit cake, every cracker and chip. 
Every last bit of food that I like must be banished 
Till all the additional ounces have vanished. 

I won’t have a cookie, 
not even a lick. 
I’ll want only to chew 
on a long celery stick. 
I won’t have hot biscuits, 
or corn bread, or pie. 
I’ll munch on a carrot and quietly cry. 

I’m hungry, I’m lonesome, and life is a bore… 
But isn’t that what January is for? 

Unable to giggle, no longer a riot. 
Happy New Year to all, and to all a good diet.

3 thoughts on “Twas the month after christmas….

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